Guess the Plot
1. Jeremy loves little children . . . a little too much.
2. Open it and step through into a place very different from where you are now. But don't close it behind you or you might never find your way back. Also, a lesson about homonyms.
3. When the body of Instagram influencer Adore Habibi is found floating in the water tank at the Airport Hilton, homicide detective Zack Martinez knows two things. One, she didn't get into that tank by herself, and two, so this is what his daughter means when she says she wants to be on Instagram--and he'll be damned if he lets that happen.
4. The true love of Eros, Psyche, died before he could reveal himself to her. Lost to despair, love dies in the world. Yet when a woman is born hundreds of years later who resembles Psyche, has his love returned? Or is a trick of the gods to return true love?
5. Liz feels a sudden ache in her heart, consuming her. To cure herself, she prepares to jump into a freezing river. But then a 400-year-old German redhead shows up, and everything changes. Also, an adorable vampire.
6. Adore Stevens always wanted a career in veterinary medicine. Unfortunately, the animals she heals all fall madly in love with her, making their owners jealous enough to stop visiting the clinic where she interns. Can she convince hunky head vet Damian Falstaff she's worth it or does her true calling lie with militant environmentalists?
7. In this retelling of the Cinderella tale, Adore, the stepsister who'd been presumed lost in infancy, reappears just in the nick of time - and she's gorgeous. Prince Charming slams the door in Cinderella's face and whisks Adore away to the castle - but how long before he finds out she's a vampire?
Dear Agent ___
My YA Urban Fantasy novel, 'ADORE,' is 92,000 words, Present Tense, and set in 1994, in [a] small mountain town in Australia. [No need to capitalize "urban fantasy" or "present tense."]
Liz Morton, 14, gets home from school and immediately knows something is wrong. A sudden ache in her heart pulls inside her chest, consuming her. Desperate for a solution [Solution isn't the right word. If it's just the physical sensation bothering her, "remedy" might work. If it's emotional/mental, etc: "Desperate for relief."] Liz follows her instincts and walks to the river where she plunges her hands into the water hoping the cold will shock the feeling out of her. When nothing works and the sun sets, Liz comes out from behind the trees and meets a vampire. [I thought she was at the river's edge. Now it sounds like she's in the woods.] [Is there something magical about this river? If I thought putting my hands in cold water was what I needed, I'd fill a bowl with water and add some ice, not go to the nearest river.] He stands in the centre of the clearing exactly where sh [she] envisioned her solution would be. [If she envisioned her solution at the center of this clearing, why didn't she go there first instead of trying the river and other things that didn't work? When I feel a hunger in my stomach, and I envision the solution being a trip to Dunkin Donuts, I don't head straight for Abercrombie and Fitch.]
Nat says he knows exactly how Liz feels. Nathaniel Tillack is a 122 year old vampire starving himself for Longsleep, the only escape from the longing he feels, that is caused by his ‘permanent feeling’. Incompletion, [Incompletion, comma? Is that supposed to be there? Are you saying the vampire "permanently feels" incomplete? He's looking for someone who completes him? Someone like Liz? If so, a colon after "feeling" and a period after incompletion, although a better idea is to just end the sentence after "the longing he feels."]
Hosting Nat’s feeling, Liz must scramble to survive empathizing with a vampire. [Empathizing usually doesn't involve hosting feelings; just understanding them. Of course there was that Star Trek TNG where the empath took on the emotions of other people. Is that what's going on here?] [Also, "scramble" doesn't seem like the right word. Maybe "struggle"?] Nat is a comfort and relief, but when 400 year old German red-head Isaskia Braun shows up when Liz is alone under the bridge about to jump into the river to cure herself as a last resort, [If Nat provided comfort and relief, why does she need this last resort?] Isaskia flips things [What things?] on it’s ["It's" means "it is." You meant "its," except that's wrong too, as "things" is plural, so you want "their."] head. Nat isn’t all he seems, and Liz must decide who to trust as she searches for a way to stay alive.
Can Liz find the solution? Or was Liz the solution all along. [You're asking if the solution to the ache in Liz's heart was Liz?]
Thankyou [Thank you] for your time,
Is it explained why Liz doesn't consult her parents or a doctor or WebMD before deciding plunging her hands into a river will take care of everything?
Nat was standing exactly where her "solution" was expected to be, and he provides comfort and relief, yet Liz is still searching for a way to stay alive? Is she hosting his feelings permanently? And this is killing her? None of this is clear from the query.
Liz was already looking for relief from the aching in her heart before she met Nat. Is that still her goal? Or has her goal changed to escaping from hosting Nat's feelings? I would think that in 92,000 words, there's more happening than Liz searching for a cure to the vague way she feels. Tell us the story.
Even if the plot were described with crystal clarity, there are too many minor errors to expect someone to want to read the book, as they'll assume the book has annoying errors on every page.